


Forgotten History

by sonicinthestone



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-02-03
Packaged: 2017-11-25 23:46:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonicinthestone/pseuds/sonicinthestone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin has been waiting for his king for over a thousand years, he has lived hundreds of lives and known thousands of people but is still aching for Arthur's return. When it does happen it isn't in quite the way he expected and he finds history repeating itself but with some unexpected changes to the details. One thing never changes though and that is that Arthur is still a Prat. And a clotpole. Set after series five, Arthur is reincarnated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so I hope you enjoy it. Any feedback on the story or grammar and spelling etc is very welcome. (I am still getting used to the site so sorry if formatting etc is a bit odd)

Merlin looked out across the grave yard; he remembered the names of most of those who were in his battalion and most rested here. The vividness of all his memories still shocked him, but it was those of the bloodiest war he had lived through attacked him now. He remembered being sat in a muddy trench with shells falling all around him, his nose filled with the stench of death, his eyes seeing only suffering and his mind constantly replaying the ear piercing screams  of the last man who had died. He remembered the bullet that had hit him in the leg and the pain as his flesh re-grew around it and forced it out. He could still taste the dryness of his mouth and feel how his heart ripped every time one of his men fell.

There had not been a time while he had roamed the earth that there had not been a war, Camelot had seemed so big in the old days, but when he lost Arthur he sat and let his magic explore. The peace Merlin thought Arthur had brought to the world had been brought to a speck of everything around him. One land, one island of United Kingdom’s and it had torn Merlin to pieces. But slowly, watching each person who dwelled there and the love they held for their country, for Arthur and for each other, Merlin realised how much it mattered and his pride, and his love, for Arthur swelled.

Camelot did well under Gwen’s rule and when Merlin finally returned to her she welcomed him with kindness and love as she always had. There was always a dull sadness that was always present though, sometimes Merlin noticed Leon looking around for Arthur and realising he wasn’t there. Or Gwen reaching out a hand to find empty air. Leon filled that air in the end, they healed each other’s broken hearts and they both lived long happy lives in the end. Merlin became Gwen’s closest advisor along with Leon and the three of them created a Camelot Arthur would have been proud of. Then Merlin watched it slowly change and die and re-grow till it was unrecognisable except for the crumbling castle towers that stood on a hill surrounded by little terraced houses and blocks of flats.

The legend still lived in the minds of men, changed and ever changing, Arthur’s name lived on along with Gwen's, Merlin’s and the knights. The days of magic and dragons filled people with awe and wonder, for people are always wanting to escape from the world around them. Merlin had hundreds of lives inside his one. In the beginning he could do as he wished unnoticed and he did but then the world started documenting and people wanted to know who he was and where he was from and he found himself having to fake his death, and then reappear as someone different in another country.

He was Henry VIII’s court Physician, a Greek scholar, very briefly a cowboy, a butler to a rich American bootlegger, a college professor and hundreds of other things; he had even had a stint as a postman, using his magic to keep growling hounds at bay. He could take a car apart and put it back together and read a novel in five minutes. Merlin did things; he kept himself busy; he tried to dull the pain. Every year he visited the lake and stared out at the grey water and wished with all his heart for his king to return.

He drove back to his hotel room and flicked channels. Then he saw something, he blinked and looked again. The French news was flashing pictures of an Arthur Pendragon. Prince Arthur Pendragon son of Uther King of the United Kingdom. Merlin stared, smiling back were the same white teeth and soft pink lips that had smiled at him hundreds of years earlier. The Queen had disappeared; he checked Wikipedia, Uther was listed as the son of Elizabeth the second who was reported to have died 10 years earlier.

“History has just changed.” Merlin whispered.

It was strange seeing Arthur in modern clothes, a leather jacket and sunglasses with a pair of jeans, his blond hair styled and gleaming in the summer sun. Merlin sat motionless, he didn’t know how to feel, it seemed odd that he would return now, that he would return when nothing seemed wrong. Merlin realised that Arthur wouldn’t remember, wouldn’t know who Merlin was.  Merlin delved in the bottom of his bag and found the box that contained Arthurs ring. Gwen had given it to him before she died. He let himself touch it, let his hands feel the cold metal, he did it so rarely it still felt new and, although it brought back the sadness of losing Arthur in brutal waves, it too  brought with it the memories and the laughter he had longed for all this time.

  
He was restless on his journey back to London. The relief of seeing Arthur was overwhelming and it filled him inside and made him jumpy, he lost sense of his surroundings and got some displeased looks as he got off the train at kings cross and knocked several passers by over with his bags. He had no idea what he was going to do next, what would happen when he saw Arthur or what he wanted to happen. Though he was old now he didn’t feel it, he felt like the same young boy that had wandered into Camelot with a smile on his face and everything he owned in a small pack on his back. 

  
When reached his house in London he dumped his bags by the front door and tried to think, which was easier said than done when his brain was alight and his heart longing more than ever. His love for Arthur had never died even after all this time, it still dwelled inside him, knowing away in desperation, clinging to the one slice of hope that the chance of Arthurs return gave him. Hope that he needed more everyday he lived as he watched the people he loved die and each world he got to know crumble around him.


	2. Chapter 2

He felt bad doing what he did, he was sure that Arthur’s PA loved his job but Merlin needed access to the Prince and this seemed like a decent plan. He was sure the old PA would enjoy life in Spain anyway, much warmer. Now he was stood in a room in west London, a large angry looking security guard grunted at him to go through into the interview room. He hadn’t quite factored in that other people would try to get the job, but he highly doubted any of them would be as qualified as him. The interview was long and boring, they wanted to know why he wanted the job, what he thought it would involve and various other of those types of questions that you never quite know how to answer. He hoped his CV would be enough. When he left the interview they told him he would get a phone call informing him of whether he had reached the next interview stage. Before this he had to go through three hours of checks and rigorous questioning to make sure he wasn’t going to kill Arthur. It frustrated him that he couldn’t just take the job straight away. Maybe that’s why Arthurs come back, he thought to himself, to get rid of all this bloody health and safety.

  
The phone call came at seven the next morning.

'Good morning Merlin Emrys speaking.'

'Good morning I am calling to inform you that you have been chosen to partake in the next interview stage, you will be picked up tomorrow at 6am and will be acting as his highness's personal assistant for the day. You will be briefed beforehand.'

'Erm, wow thank you.’ The man on the end of the phone hung up and Merlin collapsed on the sofa. Slowly he dragged his hands through his scruffy black hair, it had all happened so quickly and his emotions were wreaking havoc. It was like getting VIP tickets to see your favourite band but a thousand times more intense. He stomach curled and fluttered; he was elated and terrified all at the same time.

When the alarm went off the next morning at 5am he had slept for about half an hour. ‘Errrrrghhhhh!’ Merlin’s hand flailed out to grab the alarm, he could have turned it off with magic but he had decided he needed to get in practice for a day of his every move being watched. ‘Just like the old days,’ he muttered to himself; he almost smiled at the thought. He flicked through his wardrobe, pulled out a shirt, tie and suit trousers and put them on. He brushed his hair and teeth and then made a cup of very strong coffee. He was ready by half five. Merlin grabbed his phone from the side table and updated it with and relevant numbers he could think of, coffee shops, takeaways, tailors and a whole array of other things. Then he waited, the seconds seemed to tick like water from a slightly leaking tap, irregularly and so rarely that you are shocked when the drip hits the basin. He paced up and down his living room, drank another cup of coffee and straightened his tie several times. Then finally his doorbell rang and he was escorted into a black BMW. He was more relaxed on the journey with the sites of London flashing past his window, sites he knew well though they always seemed to be slightly different. He enjoyed trying to spot people he recognised and it thrilled him slightly that he very rarely found one, that even though he had spent so long on this earth there was still new things to be discovered.

Buckingham palace rolled into view, a place that too was familiar to Merlin, he knew it’s corridors and rooms like his own house, having spent 30 years there as a footman and later butler during the mid 19th century. Merlin had to go through what seemed an endless number of security checks, then identity checks (these still made him nervous even though there was no chance anyone would ever know his passport and birth certificate weren’t real),till he even got into the palace building. The room he was escorted to was not the grand spaces that the public gawp at but a small, brightly lit room containing metal chairs and a glass table. Prince Arthur stood at the opposite end of the room.

Merlin gulped. It was strange seeing him and all he really wanted to do was tell him everything, and that he was sorry and that Albion lived on. But he couldn’t because Arthur said nothing to him. Arthur was speaking to someone and glanced briefly at Merlin before turning back to the women he was talking to. Then Merlin very nearly swore or screamed or did something else he shouldn’t, for women next to Arthur was Morgana. Or a version of her, she had the same long black hair, though it was straightened and she wore it in a high pony and her face was that of a younger Morgana, bright and smiling with deep red lips. Merlin laughed to himself as her remembered the crush he had harboured on her during his first month in Camelot, that one was a little different to the one that followed. Morgana walked over to him, leaving Arthur playing with his iphone on the other side of the room.

‘Good morning, well more like middle of the night, I don’t know how he does it,' she glanced over at Arthur,  'I’m the duchess of York, but you can call me Morgana and that’s my half brother, who is an idiot even if he is the Prince of Wales.’ Her face was animated and happy and her hands flailed as she talked. He wasn’t quite sure what to feel about her, she had killed his king –indirectly- and many of his closest friends; he mistrusted her deeply and resented her a little. He hoped with all his heart that she would stay uncorrupted by whatever evil had taken a hold of her the first time round.

‘Oih! I heard that, don’t give the wrong impression to our future employee I would rather he didn’t hate me’

  
‘Oh I highly doubt he does.’ Morgana winked and Arthur ignored her.

  
‘Anyway you will be working as my PA for the day, which means doing what I say and making sure I turn up for things at the right time.’

  
‘And buying him coffee’ Morgana butted in.

  
‘Well, your highness, I err hope you find me to your satisfaction.’

  
‘He is never satisfied, he is a prat.’ Morgana said with a wicked smile and looked sympathetically at Merlin.

  
‘I am not a prat.’ Arthur replied dejectedly. ‘Do you think I am a prat?’ He gestured at Merlin.

  
‘Only a very very small prat.’ Merlin smiled.

  
‘Watch it I could put in the tower of London or something. I am the Prince of Wales you know.' he said with a mock arrogance, 'and I'm not a prat'

  
‘What about a clotpole.’ Merlin suggested. Arthur stared at him and Merlin stared back. He almost tried to kiss him, almost. But that would have been a terrible idea-surely.

Arthur paused for a moment longer and then said, ‘there’s something about you Merlin.’

  
‘What? My wit? Charm? My extremely handsome face?’

  
‘No something more than that,’ he sighed, ‘Never mind. Okay so you need to write these down somewhere and call my driver because we need a car.’ He carried on telling Merlin what he needed to do as Merlin frantically typed them into his blackberry.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin walked as fast as he could down the street without breaking into a run, the coffee shop was at the end of the road but the pavement was bustling with people. Arthur had demanded coffee. He was an arrogant prat, a beautiful wonderful, arrogant prat. Merlin ordered the coffee and stood impatiently as the barista made it. ‘In a hurry?’ Merlin turned, the women behind him in the queue smiled at him and pointed at his impatiently drumming fingers. Stay cool, Merlin told himself, just keep calm.

‘Yeah I’m a PA to a Royal arsehole.’ Quite literally Merlin thought.

‘Ah I see, we’re in the same profession then. I’m Gwen by the way.’

‘Merlin.’ Gwen shook his hand and smiled brightly.

‘Have I seen you somewhere before? I’m sorry you just look familiar.’

‘I don’t think so.’ Merlin said, he had expected Gwen to return even less than he had expected Morgana to appear but it was comforting to see her.

‘Well duty calls. We best get these coffees to our bosses.’

‘Yes, well I’ll see you around I would think.’ Merlin grabbed the coffee and left, marching down the street to the discreetly parked car.

‘Took your time.’ Arthur remarked as he took the coffee and proceeded to sip it slowly.

‘I’m sorry, your majesty,’ Merlin spoke with sarcasm and mock bowed.

‘I have never had a PA as rude as you.’

‘Wait, does that mean I’m hired?’ Merlin asked. Arthur nodded slowly then turned away from Merlin and stared out of the window, Merlin suddenly realised they weren’t moving and opened the divide in the car to tell the driver to set off.

‘No wait,’ Arthur said, ‘Go via that little park, I need some time away from all of this.’

‘Arthur you are meant to be opening the ward at five and it is four already’

‘Oh woopdedo! We won’t be long and anyway I’m the bloody Prince of Wales what are they going to do?’ They drove in silence to the aforementioned park, Merlin fiddling with his fingers and the sights of London whizzing by. He didn’t really know what he had expected but he really wished that Arthur had remembered him, remembered everything. He sighed in frustration.

The park was down a long road lined with large Victorian houses, the wind blew gently- rustling the brown, crisp leaves which clung to the trees, occasionally a leaf would fall down into a pile which covered the ground. Benches were arranged in a circle around a statue of a dragon with the rusty looking trees surrounding them. The place looked old and abandoned, a lonely swing which no longer had a seat stood at one side accompanied by a dangerous looking slide. It felt strange to walk in an empty park, to not hear the voices of children screaming and concerned parents shouting after and stranger still was walking in someone else’s sanctuary. In someone else’s special place, we all have them, those places that we hide in, where we feel safe and alone. Arthur smiled for the first time since they had stepped into the car that morning and Merlin relaxed a little.

‘Nice isn’t it?’ Arthur asked, his voice looking for confirmation. Merlin was quiet for a moment.

‘Yeah, yeah it is.’ They sat on a bench for a while staring into the distance both lost in their own thoughts. Arthur turned to look at Merlin, following the pale skinned cheekbones with his eyes and wandering down the line of his neck, to his collar bones which just peeked through his shirt that had slowly become unbuttoned at the top through the morning. Arthur had never really addressed his non straightness before, he was aware of it but it was one of the things he had put on the ‘think about it later’ list. It worried him, him being who he was and he had never really met anyone in real life that meant he had to think about it.

‘What?’ Merlin had noticed him staring, he blushed a little.

‘Nothing I am going to go for a walk you can go back to the car if you like.’

‘I think I’ll stay here, wait where is Percival?’

‘Oh I struck a deal with the body guards about this place, they’re in their car.’  Merlin nodded and as soon as Arthur turned his back he checked the park, they were completely alone which felt good. Merlin wasn’t quite sure why Arthur had been staring at him he shrugged his shoulders and went to look at the statue in the centre of the ring of benches. It had been worn away by rain over the years and was very disfigured. White lichen almost completely covered the grey concrete and one of the wings had fallen off. Merlin thought it a shame for it looked like it had once been a magnificent beast.

_Look what happens when time abandons us_

‘Kilgharrah?’

_It has been a long time warlock_

‘You died.’

_And so did your king_

‘Well seen as you’re here can you explain what is going on a bit? Maybe?’

_You’re king rose as he always would. The fabric of the world seemed to decide that this was the apt way._

‘He doesn’t remember,’ his voice rose slightly, ‘he doesn’t know who I am, what am I meant to do?’

_When he left you, you had told him your secret now the Arthur of today must reveal his._

‘I don’t understand.’

_You never did Merlin. The stories may change and yet they always stay the same. I must go now, your King is here._

‘Fat lot of good that was’ Merlin said aloud. He checked his watch; half four, they were going to be at a push to get the hospital on time. Sighing Merlin checked the traffic.

‘There is a crash on the main route to the hospital, we are going to have to the long way round- which means we will be late but at least we will get there.’ Merlin said to Arthur.

‘You know checking the traffic is generally the driver’s job.’

‘Yeah well it’s my first day.’

‘Well I hope it isn’t your last.’ Merlin raised an eyebrow.

‘That is unusually soppy.’

‘Well it is hard to find good PAs, and any way how do you know what is usual for me?’ Shrugging his shoulders Merlin headed back to the car. Arthur followed after with a puzzled expression on his face and a mind still as confused as he was before his walk.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

‘Only five minutes late!’ Merlin said with a smile on his face.

‘See Merlin you should trust me more.’ Arthur and Merlin were surrounded by body guards, Percival, Gwaine and Leon as well as some other unfamiliar faces. Merlin had got used to people of Camelot showing up randomly; it seemed destiny had a strange way of arranging things. Three doctors met Arthur at the door though the rest of the hospital hardly seemed to have hardly noticed his arrival. Nurses and doctors were almost running down corridors and the wards seemed to be over flowing.

‘Excuse me erm?’ Arthur paused trying to remember the doctor’s name.

‘Rose smith your majesty.’

‘Doctor Smith, what is happening here? I have never seen a hospital so full.’

‘Happened in the last hour, patients have extreme temperatures, extensive sweating and hallucinations though most came in already unconscious or became so very quickly. We are not sure what it is, three have died already sir.’  Arthur was quiet for some time.

‘Is there anything I can do? I may not have any medical knowledge but I have quite a few resources at my disposal.’

‘We need to find a cure, or at least what the cause is. I am sorry that this is not what you were expecting to find sir.’

‘Not at all please, get back to your duties,’ Arthur turned to Merlin, ‘Merlin arrange for me to speak to the Medicine research unit at Cambridge and the Government minister for health’

‘Yes sire, I mean sir, may I look at one of the patients, my father was a medical genius in his time.’ Arthur looked at him sceptically but gestured for him to go.

‘Do those things for me first though.’ Merlin nodded and walked off in the direction of one of the wards. Arthur shook his head to himself, he had never seen anything like this and yet it felt oddly familiar. He found the waiting room and set about comforting some of the families that sat in huddled groups until his phone rang.

‘Good afternoon your majesty, minister of health what can I do for you?’

‘I am in the hospital at Hammersmith they have got hundreds of patients in all with the same symptoms, 15 have died while I have been here, they are trying to keep it contained but it is spreading across London.’

‘Sir you need to get out of there.’

‘No I need to be with my people, now do your bloody job and sort something out.’

‘Yes Sir I,’ Arthur hung up. The Cambridge medicine unit said much the same, inquired why he had called them instead of one of the members of staff at the hospital and after Arthur had explained that the staff in the hospital were a bit busy they said that they would ‘do something’.  Arthur was frustrated, he went to find Merlin. Before Merlin could say anything to him he burst into an angry rant.

‘They don’t listen to me Merlin. None of them listen to me, all they will tell me is get out of the infected hospital, why, why am I so much more important than these people. These people have lives and influence and do things. I just sit here being rich and smiling what is the point if I can’t do anything?’ His voice broke and he gestured angrily.

‘Arthur, you care about these people, which is more than most of the monarchy does, we can’t help here anymore anyway come on I’ve called the driver he’ll be here by now.’

Merlin wasn’t sure what had caused the illness but he knew it wasn’t a standard disease. Each patient was pale and sweating, but, more importantly, they had small black dots over their skin, especially around the main veins and arteries that were close to the surface. He had managed to take a blood sample from a man on one of the wards when the nurse wasn’t looking and was desperate to test it.

They drove back to Buckingham and Merlin left Arthur pacing in front of his father and his father’s advisors and tested the blood with what little equipment he could find. It showed the signs of poison, but that couldn’t be possible, what could poison random members of the population? And who could have created such a poison?

‘Merlin what are you doing?’ Arthur had walked into the room without Merlin noticing and Merlin nearly dropped the test tube he was holding.

‘Testing blood.’

‘What blood?’ Arthur face was scrunched in confused disbelief.

‘Blood I got from one of the patients at the hospital, it shows signs of poison, which doesn’t make any sense but I can’t see anything else it could be. It can’t be water because that would take out whole families and anyway all the water supplies come from different sources.’

‘Since when were you a medical expert.’

‘Oh there are lots of things you don’t know about me.’ Arthur shook his head again.

‘Well if it isn’t water born it must be air born, that would make more sense of the randomness of it, and the way it is spreading we must be able to trace it back to the source.’

‘Good thinking, see you are useful.’

‘Thank you Merlin.’

‘Even if you are an idiot.’ Arthur hit Merlin lightly round the head.

‘You’d think they’d known each other for years.’ Merlin turned; Morgana stood in the doorway, arm in arm with Morgause and followed by Gwen.

‘Sometimes I think I’ve taken some really dodgy drugs and this is all a dream.’ Merlin muttered under his breath.

‘Now really isn’t the time Morgana.’

‘I am here to help actually and so are Gwen and Morgause.’  Arthur nodded his head, he repeated what he and Merlin had discussed and they tried to work out a plan.

‘Don’t you think it is a bit odd you royals being all heroic.’ Gwen said jokingly.

‘Well the government certainly aren’t going to do anything.’ Arthur replied.

‘He has got a point.’ Morgause added. They split up, Morgana and co. speaking to medical people the world over and Arthur and Merlin tracking the source of the disease. Merlin was quite enjoying himself, however awful the situation was, and Arthur seemed to be having a good time as well. He threw himself right into the challenge and they made a lot of progress. Merlin and Arthur were about to get into Arthur’s car and drive closer to the site they were looking for when a messenger came in.

The boy couldn’t have been old than eighteen and stared at the floor the entire time he was in the room, his voice was shaky and filled with fear.

‘Your majesty I regret to inform you that the king has fallen ill with the sickness.’ Arthur stood up.

‘Take me to him.’

‘I have been told you are not to see him, he does not wish you to contract the disease sir.’ Arthur fumed and pushed passed the boy storming out into the corridor.


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur was sat on a chair next to the bed, Uther’s cold hand clasped within his. Sweat dripped down the Kings brow and he muttered softly in his sleep.

‘Father?’ Uther eyes opened slightly when Arthur spoke.

‘Arthur.’ he breathed softly, his voice barely loud enough to hear. ‘I am not long for this world,' he paused his breathe rasping from the effort, 'you’ll be a good king son, a king your mother would be proud of. I am sorry.’

'For what?' Uther coughed violently and his body shook, then he was still. The weak grasp around Arthurs hand fell and what once was alive was not.

It was silent in the room, the constant rasp of Uther’s laboured breathing was gone and it left only the seconds that passed before Arthur breathed again in it's wake. It was late evening and it had been dark for about an hour, the moon shone brightly and shadows fell across the room. Nothing moved, the stillness falling like a blanket over the room. The covers that had once edged slowly up and down dared to no more and the air was colder. Or maybe the air had always been cold but Arthur just felt it more now.

‘Father? Please.’ The silence and the stillness was broken and with it Arthur’s resilience. Quiet tears fell from his eyes, ones of shock and grief that come when something never ending ends. He kissed his father’s brow for the last time. Then the steward who had been standing silently in the corner announced through soft tears; ‘The king is dead, long live the king.’ The steward left. Arthur sat vigil for the rest of the night, the words of the steward ringing in his ears.

Arthur was in Uther’s room till the next morning. Merlin was slumped outside the door to his chambers, someone had covered him with a blanket in the night and he was still sleeping when Arthur left.

‘You’re here.’

‘Wha- oh I just, I just I didn’t want you to be alone.’

‘He’s dead Merlin.’ His voice cracked and shattered and tears flowed out of his eyes. Angry tears, tears that he almost willed would drown him physically as what had happened drowned his mind. ‘He’s is dead. Oh god, Oh god, I can’t do this.’ Merlin stood up and held Arthur, just as he had all those years ago.  ‘Merlin I don’t want this, I want my father I’m not ready.’ He spoke through sobs, Merlin realised that the last time this had happened, he had met Arthur after the tears, after the break down. Arthur trusted him. Merlin was crying now, though he wasn’t sure why.

‘You’ll be a great King, I have seen that already Arthur, in everything you did yesterday and everything you have always done, you are more than a prince or a king, you’re a great man and,’ Merlin’s words were interrupted by Arthur kissing him lightly on the lips, Arthur looked at him.

‘I’m sorry I’ll go.’ Arthur said and turned away.

Merlin grabbed his hand and pulled him back, Arthur fell back into Merlin’s arms and kissed him. Arthur’s eyes were closed and his hands clung to Merlin's, he kissed with desperation deepening the kiss quickly, and holding Merlin tighter than Merlin had ever been held. Merlin stared at Arthur as he kissed him, marvelling at his face, at the need. He was shocked by how much passion was held in the kiss, it was beautiful the love that surged from Arthur. When they broke the kiss Arthur looked at Merlin his face black of expression.

‘Emrys.’ he whispered and then his eyes shut and he began to fall.


	6. Chapter 6

 

‘Merlin.’ Arthur groaned, he had just regained consciousness after being out cold for an impressive five minutes - during which several doctors had run around panicking but not particularly doing very much.  

‘How are you doing?’

‘I wouldn’t call it one of my best days, although it beats crawling through a sewer.’ Arthur smiled through gritted teeth. Merlin chuckled.

‘How much do you remember?’  

‘I have the same memories I had when, well you know I died.’ His voice was slow and he sounded in pain, like the emotional and mental shock had physically injured him. Arthur sat up and took a sip of water from the glass that stood on the side. There were a few minutes of silence. The sun was bright in the sky and shone almost harshly through the windows and the room was a little stuffy. Merlin shuffled on his chair and took his phone out of his pocket, he had several missed calls, two from Gwen, one from Morgana and then several from various government and royal secretaries and the like. ‘Thank you Merlin.’ Arthur said after awhile. 'Thank you.'

‘For what?’

‘For everything you’ve done, I saw that too, I saw everything that you had always wanted to tell me,' Arthur paused and looked at merlin,  'I don’t deserve you.’ Merlin didn’t really know what to say.

‘Arthur I would do anything for you, you know that, but this isn’t about me. It's about you. How do you feel?’

‘Honestly? Well firstly I would rather be crawling round in a sewer right now.’

‘It’s pretty bad then?’

‘I remember two childhoods Merlin, I remember different first kisses, everything that I know and that I knew has been turned upside down and shaken. Everything that happened before now has been doubled, not replaced.’ Sometime during the conversations their hands hand had joined together, then Arthur pulled away suddenly noticing.

‘How much do you remember of now?’

‘I remember walking out of Uther’s room and you being there and we talked and then nothing.’

‘Nothing?’

‘No.’

The words hit Merlin like a brick wall, ‘Oh,’ he breathed quietly.

Merlin’s phone broke the long silence that followed, it was Morgana. ‘Hello its Merlin.’

‘How is Arthur?’ Morgana asked, Merlin briefly explained some of the situation, leaving out the kissing bit and the Camelot bit. When Merlin put the phone down Arthur was staring at the ceiling shaking his head slowly.

‘What do we do?’

‘We wait, we go on as normal, we see how it pans out. Things may be different this time Arthur.’

‘I sure hope they are.’ He replied. Merlin stared at him, his chin had developed some stubble, his grey T-Shirt was lose and wrinkled and had ridden up a little revealing a small band of tanned skin around Arthur’s lower stomach. His hair was scruffy and poked out in odd places, dark circles sat below his eyes and his face was drawn from lack of sleep. And yet, Merlin thought to himself, he still looks gorgeous.

It was strange imagining going through everything that had happened all over again, Camelot seemed a long time ago to Merlin –although he remembered it as clearly as if it was yesterday. He had a long time to move on from the death of his friends. But Arthur hadn’t and he could see it sweep across him and for the second time that day he cried in Merlin’s arms.

Arthur stared at the ceiling again as he tried to figure out what was going on, his brain was a crazy mix of now and then, and he was really, remembering two different people. He wasn’t that person now he thought, but he wasn’t this person then and now he was both. And nothing in his mind quite made any sense. The worst bit was the loss he felt, it burned in him like the coals of a dying fire, painful and constant. He had Merlin though. He had Merlin. ‘Thank heaven for that.’ He said aloud as Merlin went to run him a bath. ‘Thank heaven for that.’


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Arthur woke with a smile on his face, he had dreamt of his mother, he was a child again and she had held him and sung to him. It was a song from the musical Annie his mum used to sing to it to him. Igraine had loved musicals and it was of the few things Arthur remembered of her, for he was only 3 when she died. When he had nightmares she would sit next to his bed and sing ‘Tomorrow’ to him in a beautiful high pitched voice. He sang it under his breath as he went to get in the shower. He let himself stay within the dream for a while drifting around his room before he was demanded to be somewhere. Then the moment was broken.  
‘Merlin.’ Arthur sighed.

‘Sorry, do you want me to go?’

‘No no I was just, never mind.’ Arthur dressed himself while Merlin checked through his blackberry. ‘Have they found the cause of this disease yet?’

‘No, it has been contained and no one else has died although that is through no actions of anyone I know of, I think, well I think that they achieved their goal- or some of it anyway.’

‘Oh,’ Arthur paused, he had forgotten about Uther's death till then and it and everything that came with him struck him again. ‘Well,’ he said shaking it off, ‘we better get going then.’  
Merlin smiled so that it filled his whole face and threw a map book at Arthur.

‘You know there is such thing as the internet Merlin?’

‘I prefer this method, maps don’t break.’

‘Well you can use your map book but I’m using Google maps.’ Arthur picked up his netbook from his bedside table. ‘What are we looking for?’

‘Well I’ve marked out the spread of the disease on the map and it comes back to a point around here,’ Merlin gestured to a circle he had drawn on the map.

‘So?’

‘So we need a building that looks like the starting point of a crazy epidemic.’

‘Simple then.’ They worked for about half an hour, though Arthur really didn’t see how maps were going to help, they got it down to about twenty possible buildings and then Arthur yelled in frustration and stood up. ‘Can’t we just go for god sake we’re not doing anything here.’

‘Security says you can’t leave.’

‘Fuck security. I am the bloody King of England,’

‘Great Britain actually.’ Merlin interjected.

‘Shut up Merlin, oh and call the driver.’ Merlin removed the pyjama top that Arthur had thrown at him from his face and took his phone out of his pocket.

‘So how exactly are we going to get out?’ Merlin asked.

‘Do the magic thing, you know harry potter styley’

‘It really doesn’t work like that.’ Merlin huffed folding his arms.

‘I don’t care just get on with it.’

‘Make me.’ Merlin smirked and drummed his fingers on his arm.

‘Fine.’ Arthur walked over to the other side of the room and picked up a pillow from the bed. Merlin caught on and picked up a pillow as well.

‘It’s on.’ A pillow hit Merlin in the face and he staggered backwards, retaliating with an attack to Arthur’s side. It was a hard fought battle at first, the two men on equal pegging with pillows left right and centre and soft goose down flying around the room. They laughed happily as they fought, Arthur having to pause for a moment to catch his breath. Then Arthur tripped Merlin causing him to fall flat on his face, Merlin turned over but Arthur had him pinned down before he could stand up.  
‘I win.’ Arthur said, not moving himself away from Merlin.

‘I guess you do.’ Then Arthur leaned down towards Merlin putting his hand on Merlin's face. Then he withdrew, shaking his head and standing up. ‘Well,’ said Merlin, ‘we better get going.’


	8. Chapter 8

They told the driver to drop them off about 10 minutes away from the target area and paid him to keep quiet. It was the edge of a huge industrial estate, ten miles square, most of which was empty. Old bits of plastic shuffled along the dusty pavements and rotten wooden pallets sat in lonely piles in otherwise empty car parks. Arthur pulled his leather jacket around him.

‘You scared?’ Merlin asked.

‘Of course not.’ Arthur said pulling a pistol out of his back pocket. They walked further down the road; it was just before noon and slightly warmer than the previous day, although Merlin still shivered in his thin hoodie.  Merlin wished he had more of a plan, he didn’t actually know what he was dealing with, or who.  They walked for another twenty minutes until they found an old warehouse. Three cars were parked outside and the sound of a buzzing machine could be heard.

‘Ready?’ Merlin asked.

‘Ready.’ Arthur replied.

‘Dunnian,’ Merlin whispered and his eyes flashed.

‘What did that do?’

‘It made us, not invisible, but unnoticeable; however they can still hear us so shut it.’ Arthur went ahead walking slowly round the building to find an open door. At the very back of the warehouse was a small door that was ever so slightly open , it creaked loudly as Arthur opened it and Merlin cringed. The warehouse seemed even bigger inside than out, huge electricity generators stood in a long line on one wall and on the other were huge tanks. Chairs were scattered about the room and men and women in boilers suits wandered about checking meters and drinking tea. At the very end of the room was a large glass screen which separated what looked to be a reasonably plush office from the working area. They edged down the left side slipping between the huge tanks; Merlin could smell chemicals- sulphur and chlorine- as well as something else, something much less natural.

At the end of the row of tanks was a small red sphere in a grey stand. It was surrounded by blue light that was probably some sort of electricity or laser. Merlin walked closer to it, he had seen anything similar to it only once before. He couldn’t quite believe it was there, nor could he work out how it had anything to do with the illness.

‘Having fun boys.’ Arthur and Merlin whipped their heads round to face the voice. A tall thin woman stood about five metres away; she wore a long crimson dress, with black heels. Gold bracelets clunked on her wrist and a large ring of the same colour dominated her wedding finger. Her face was heavily made up but that could not hide the blisters and swelling that covered it.

‘Morgause.’ Arthur said, his voice void of emotion. Merlin looked around, the workers who had previously been wandering around all walked to the opposite side of the warehouse and stood in a small huddle.

‘Your majesty.’ she spoke with a sharp mocking tone to her voice. ‘And who’s this?’ She pointed at Merlin. ‘You’re loyal little dog, didn’t you only hire him yesterday?’ Before Arthur could speak Merlin did.

‘What is this?’ he asked, gesturing to the room.

‘This is my palace,’ she smiled. ‘3000 mega watts running through here, straight into huge vats of acid.’

‘And the purpose of that is?’ 

‘The acid mixes with the rarest and most deadly substance on the planet.’

‘A dragon egg.’

‘Well, almost, a dead dragon egg.’

‘You killed it?’ Merlin felt tears welling up inside his eyes. ‘Why?’

‘Power. You see, if I have control of the nation’s health, and the world’s health if I want to, I have the power to wreak destruction. And I did it all right under your nose.’ She flashed the ring on her finger. ‘Pretty little thing, gutsy too, quite a shame she couldn’t be swayed to my way of thinking.’

‘That’s on your wedding finger.’ Arthur stated.

‘Yes, she proposed last week, I quite enjoyed it, very sweet.’

‘You used to be kinder,’ Arthur said, ‘in your own way.’ Meanwhile Merlin had moved back to the dragon’s egg.

‘If you break the laser the whole thing explodes.’ Morgause said.

‘And everything stops?’ Merlin asked.

‘And everything stops, but you die, Arthur dies and so do all the workers in this building.’  Merlin looked at Arthur.

‘Go.’ Merlin said.

‘I’m not leaving you.’

‘Arthur, go, please. I’ll be okay’ Arthur stared at him for a moment. Then grabbed his hand and pulled them together. Arthur’s lips hit Merlin’s, which were dry and cracked from the cold. The kiss was desperate as the last one had been, Arthur trying to say everything he wanted to say without saying anything at all. Merlin closed his eyes and fell into the kiss, deepening it quickly, his tongue tracing over Arthurs. Arthur’s breathe tasted like cough sweets and coffee, his hands were hot with fear and his lips soft and smooth. Then it ended all too soon as Arthur turned and ran, his hands leaving Merlin's feeling cold and empty. Then reality hit them in the face. A gunshot cracked through the air.


	9. Chapter 9

Arthur grabbed at his foot and screamed. Blood seeped through his shoe and onto the floor. Even with the adrenaline coursing through his veins the pain was excruciating, he had felt his bones shattered and muscles snap. He told himself to stay awake; to stay conscious but even then he was slipping away. Merlin froze, his mouth fell open, his eyes wide and dampening with tears. ‘Arthur.’ He shouted and began to run towards him.

‘Move one more step and I shoot him in the head.’  Morgause stood surrounded by a group of people dressed in black holding large guns. ‘This is no game, no petty play off of self sacrifice. I will shoot you both, it is nothing to me.’ And for Arthur everything went black, his protests worth nothing against his bodies unconscious decision.

‘Do you not feel anything Morgause? Have you never loved anyone?’ Merlin was shouting through tears, his voice quivered yet was strong with anger.

‘Everyone I loved died. Everything I tried to do failed. Till I stopped playing by the rules. This is so much more fun isn’t it.’

‘You’re mad.’

‘But I’m powerful. That is what matters isn’t it. Power. Control. I win.’

‘No you don’t and you never will.’ They turned round, Morgana stood at the opposite end of the room. ‘Sorry I’m late; my deputy just went on and on.’

‘Your deputy? Sorry what?’

‘Haven’t you heard? She has her own political party. She is up for the next elections.’ Morgause said. ‘She never shut about it, god it was dull.’

‘I loved you.’ Morgana said simply. ‘I loved you despite everything, I sacrificed so much to be with you and I really, I really thought you loved me back.’ Morgana paused, stood up a little taller and said. ‘And know this Morgause, you’re going to pay.’ She stood with her arms folded as soldiers marched into the building.

‘Ábréatan. ’ Merlin whispered. Cracking could be hear through the room, clicks of plastic and metal, one of Morgause’s soldiers turned to Merlin and pulled the trigger on his gun. Merlin took a sharp breath in. The gun fell to pieces in the soldier’s hand. Merlin ran towards Arthur. ‘Arthur, Arthur are you okay?’ Arthur’s eyes flickered open.

‘Just a small problem with my foot, I’m sure I can walk it off.’

‘No need for that. Dunnian’ Merlin said shielding them from view. He cracked his neck a little.

‘You can do this?’

‘I’ve had a long time to practice.’ Merlin knelt next to Arthur. ‘Forbærning eln bealubenn bánbryce angelcyning.’ Magic burned in his eyes, and flowed through his fingers, Merlin could hear the bones clicking together and it reminded him of the bullet he had forced out of his leg in the war. Arthur stood up straight away, threw his gun aside and walked up to Morgause.

‘You will leave this building peacefully, surrendering it to us and yourself to the will of Morgana.’

‘You can’t stop it. You cannot stop anything in here without blowing up the whole building. That laser will only let human flesh through it; someone will die Arthur, because someone always dies.’  Soldiers took Morgause and her soldiers and marched them outside.

‘Where are the workers?’ Merlin asked.

‘She turned them off.’ Morgana answered.

‘They’re robots?’  

‘No, they’re people but she did something to them. I don’t know what; we will send them to a psychiatric hospital see if they can work it out.’ Merlin nodded.

Arthur walked over to Morgana.

‘I’m sorry.’ He said embracing her.

‘Life goes on, I’m sure I’ll find someone else, someone better.’ The three of them stood looking at each other, no one quite knowing what to say. ‘It has to be me.’ Morgana said. ‘I’m not important, No one wants me.’

‘Morgana you are going to be prime minister, you are the best politician this country has ever had. Although that isn’t saying much.’  Arthur said and Morgana laughed.

‘Morgana go, deal with Morgause, rule the world and all that.’ Merlin said. She nodded and turned. ‘One thing,’ Merlin added. ‘How did you know we were here?’

‘The driver.’

‘But we paid him!’ Arthur protested.

‘Aah but I paid him more.’ She walked out of the door, her heels clicking on the concrete.

‘I’m glad you’re here Merlin.’ Arthur said.

‘How are you?’ Merlin asked.

‘Confused.’

‘Figures.’

‘What about Gwen, Merlin? Why don’t I love her now?’

‘I don’t know Arthur, fate seems to be playing a game, there is no logical reason why Morgause is here and yet she is. Did you love her then?’

‘I did and I loved you and it was all a little strange. I needed you. Both of you.’

‘It’s over now.’ Merlin said, trying to reassure him.

‘Will it ever be?’

‘All I have to do is break that laser, then this story is closed forever, you can live your life, be a great king and Morgana can become prime minster. Happy days.’

‘Merlin let me do it.’

‘You know I’m not going to, Arthur the world needs saving, save it, save it by letting me’

‘I can save the world but lose you.’ Arthur said, in a voice just louder than a whisper.

 Merlin closed the gap between them, and reached out for Arthur’s hand. ‘You don’t need me.’ He kissed Arthur on the forehead.

‘I love you.’ Arthur said.

‘And I you.’ Their hands fell to their sides. It was mid afternoon, though it made little difference inside the warehouse. Bright electric lights flickered above their heads, streams of dust wandered in the paths of lights and a thick layer covered the tops of the tanks. Gurgling could be heard from the acid and the electricity generators buzzed loudly. Mugs and flasks littered the warehouse, some full, some empty. They stood on chairs and on the floor. On had been knocked over at some point and brown liquid spread slowly from it. The moments lingered for a little longer than they should have, like children staring at sweets they had been denied. ‘This is not goodbye.’ Merlin said. There was a few more moments, slow and fast and precious.

‘Were they happy? In the end?’ Arthur asked.

‘Yes, yes they were.’

‘Were you?’

‘There is no then and now for me.’ Then they turned away from each other. Arthur walking to the door and Merlin to the egg. The door of the warehouse shut with a creak and then a thud. And Merlin was alone. 


	10. Chapter 10

Merlin waited a while, he knew Arthur would be evacuating the area and he wanted to make sure he had time to do it. He wasn’t scared; it would be just like the bullet, pain and then life, pain and then life. He ran his fingers slowly over his lips, still dry and cracked but coated in moments. Then his fingers walked down his arm to his other hand, his hand which was empty. The laser round the egg was still glowing though nothing else was, the power in building having been cut off by Merlin when he broke the guns. It was the only source of light except from a couple of dirt covered bits of clear plastic in the roof. He walked towards it. A knot twisted in his stomach as he looked at the dead egg. ‘I’m sorry.’ he whispered. ‘I’m so sorry.’ Then he lifted his hand and reached out towards the laser.

A single drop of blood rolled down his hand. Bright red and shining, following the curve of his hand and then dribbling down his wrist. Merlin licked his thumb and then wiped away the blood from the cut. He hadn’t noticed it till now. He waited a moment. Another drop of blood rolled down his hand, he squeezed the skin slightly, blood pooled at the wound. It rolled away down the same path; he watched it, like rain on a window. It had been in the back of his mind, but he hadn’t listened to it. He had taken it for granted for so long, taken for granted that he would be okay and now he wasn’t.

‘He knew.’ Merlin said out loud, ‘It really was goodbye.’ Merlin wanted more than this, he wanted to be a part of Arthur’s life, he wanted to live a proper life, a life without waiting and a life without pain. ‘It’s not fair.’ He said. ‘IT’S NOT FAIR!’ he collapsed onto the floor and held his head in his hands.  ‘I deserve more than this, I try so hard and I waited, I waited for so long, why? What is all this for?’ he was long past tears now. He shook and rivers flowed down his face. ‘Why don’t I ever get the good stuff, oh call me selfish but I have earned it. I want to live. I don’t want this.’ He hugged his knees. Everything he had done raced through his brain till he found Camelot. Till he found home. He saw Gaius on his first day there, he felt how he felt when he stopped time and saved Arthur. He remembered Gwen’s smile and Morgana's glare. He laughed to himself whilst remembering stealing food from the kitchens with Gwaine and Percival and Arthur threatening him with a spoon. Lancelot followed this memory, and with Lancelot came the pain of loss. He too remembered when Morgana had collapsed in his arms the first time; he remembered her face, the look of betrayal that covered it. And he remembered the last time she had fallen, just hours before he lost Arthur. The final battle was fought and won again in his mind, he saw the blood. Blood he thought, the final mark of the dead. Everything he thought, everything to end like this. Just a single drop of blood.

* * *

 

Waiting for the explosion was horrible. Arthur sat alone in his car, waiting and waiting. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and stared out at the empty car park. He was about a mile away, they said he was too close to the site but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything anymore, what he cared about was in a building that was about to explode. Arthur was still contesting within himself, who he was, and what was true and what was not. But he knew one thing, he knew that Merlin was about to die.

‘How are you?’ Arthur turned, the passenger door was open and Gwen stood outside the door facing him.

‘I guess Morgana’s filled you in.’

‘Sort of, she was a bit upset but yeah. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s shit Gwen. It is really really shit.’ Gwen looked at him silently for a while, not knowing what to say.

‘You know it should be weird, all of this should, but I feel like I’ve known Merlin forever.’ Arthur nodded.

‘I love him.’ Arthur said. ‘Aaah fuck. Fuck fuck.’

‘He might be okay you know. There is always hope. Even if there isn’t very much.’

‘Yeah you’re right. I hope you’re right’

‘Do you want me to go?’

‘No stay, well if you want to. I’d like you too.’ Gwen nodded. They sat in mutual silence, the sort that only exists when you both know that nothing needs saying, because you both know each other so well. Gwen handed Arthur a Jaffa cake and he took it gladly. Reality, he thought, bitter sweet reality. Life goes on. But oh how slow those seconds went by, each one closer to the inevitable, each one closer to the future and becoming the past.

Then the build up snapped. He felt a small rumble first, which grew and grew till the whole car shook violently. He bent down and covered his head. Then there was a roar which was louder than anything he had ever imagined, it felt like a physical thing crawling inside his ears and banging on them, over and over. He could hear as well, things hitting the car like hail in a winter storm. Then silence, complete and utter. He didn’t move for a while letting the emotions of what had happened engulf him. When he opened the door to the car and stepped out he could see flames and smoke coming from the place where the building had stood. Where the building stood no more.


	11. Chapter 11

Merlin had accepted the fact that he was going to die, that if he was going to save the world then he had to die. He stood up from the ground he crouched on and reached out, edging his hand slowly towards the laser. As he broke it he heard a noise, like crumbling concrete falling from the sky.

 _It is not your time warlock._ Kilgharrah hovered above him, nothing else moved, time had stopped. _I have used the last of my strength to do this. I am not a living beast anymore, my wings crumble. I can do little but I can save you._

Before Merlin could do anything time started again, and his vision was taken by the huge stone wing which covered him. He could hear the explosion and feel the heat but nothing hit him. Kilgharrah groaned in pain, it was a terrible noise, a deep vibration followed by a sound that only accompanies death. It shook Merlin to the core, and slowly the life drifted out of the great dragon and as Kilgharrah died part of him died to.

When the shaking and falling stopped he was completely surrounded by rumble and debris and he could feel the heat of fires burning. The air in the small space around him was running out. He moved awkwardly to get into his back pocket and was suddenly hit with an intense burning pain. Just below his knee was a lump and concrete, blood poured out of the wound and into the rubble around him. He breathed heavily and winced in pain. He fought with his bodies instinct’s to keep himself conscious and slowly moved round so he could retrieve his phone from his pocket. He dialled Arthurs number, Arthur picked up immediately.

‘Merlin oh god Merlin is this you.’

‘A-r-tthur please.’ Then there was a thud and the line was silent. Arthur ran back to the car and turned the ignition.

‘Gwen call whoever you can and get as many people down to the crash site as possible, Merlin’s alive.’ Arthur almost smiled, but then he remembered the thud and the silence and he realised that every second was closer to Merlin not being alive.

Nothing went through Merlin’s mind and he panicked no more. For to him everything was black, blood gushed out of his leg and out of gashes on his arms and torso. His breathing was laboured as there was little air. But he did not know this because to Merlin everything was black.

Arthur drove as fast as he could to the explosion site, his hand shook and his eyes watered. Gwen looked concerned. She was on the phone to Morgana who asking her what was going on and getting soldiers and anyone else who could help to go down to the explosion site. By this time Arthur’s body guards were following them in another car and back up was on its way.

When they reached the crash site all they could see was fire, rubble and smoke. Not a wall remained intact. Arthur’s hope was crushed.

‘How are we going to find him in all of this?’ Leon walked up to Arthur and placed his hand on his shoulder.

‘Sir, we pledged our loyalty to you and we will not stop till we find him.’

‘I’m with Leon.’ Percival stepped forward.

‘Oh alright then.’ Gwaine stepped forward as well and the three knights of old walked into the rubble. Though there were in the uniforms of body guards Arthur could almost see the armour shining in sun and the red capes flowing out behind then. Arthur began to follow them into the rubble but he was grabbed back by the soldiers that had arrived a few seconds earlier.

‘Sir we have had instructions not to let you onto the site.’ Arthur nodded. This time he accepted his instructions, he probably wouldn’t have been much use anyway and, he thought sadly, he didn’t want to be the one to find Merlin’s dead body. He sat on the bonnet of his car and fiddle with his phone while about 50 soldiers carefully looked through the rubble. He was surrounded by guards on all sides. He tapped one on the shoulder.

‘Look over there,’ He pointed at the far left corner; there was a pile a little higher than the rest of the rubble. ‘That’s where the trigger laser was.’ The man sent a message to the soldiers on the rubble and Arthur’s body guards went over to the pile. The progress was painfully slow and Arthur was impatient. Slowly the height of the rubble pile decreased, stone by stone, till they uncovered a large piece of stone that was almost wing shaped. The soldiers stopped and looked over at Arthur.

 ‘I want to see It.’ he said. The man he had talked to before nodded and Arthur walked over to it. ‘Kilgharrah.’ He whispered under his breath. He stepped back. ‘Move it, carefully.’ Leon nodded and the rest of his body guards and a few soldiers lifted it. Arthur ran forward as soon as it was moved.  Merlin’s head was turned sideways away from him; Arthur knelt down and held Merlin's face in his hands. He was cold; Arthur’s heart stopped and panic gripped him. He pressed his fingers to a spot on Merlin’s neck, nothing. He pressed a little harder, and there, a weak pulse desperately beating. ‘Get a medic and move the rocks off his legs. Arthur didn’t move, he clutched Merlin’s hand, rubbing small circles over his thumb. ‘Come on Merlin, wake up, wake up.’

The medics came a few minutes later and Arthur moved away slightly. As he did so he looked down at Merlin’s leg, he saw bone. The thin layer of flesh that covered the shin bone had been torn away, blood still flowed out of it, and Merlin’s whole lower leg was deep red with dry blood. ‘Are you okay your majesty?’ Arthur turned, the medic who had now moved to Merlin’s leg and was attempting to stop the bleeding looked at him.

‘Doctor Smith.’

‘Yes.’

‘I'll be okay when he is.’ She nodded and turned back to her patient. Arthur stared into the distance as she and her co-workers busily brought Merlin to a stable condition. He realised that nothing was guaranteed, that even though Merlin survived the blast he might not survive his injuries. He didn’t know what he was going to do whichever way it went. If he lived, if he lived Arthur wanted to be with him. But nothing was that easy when you were Arthur. He didn’t want to give Merlin up, he couldn’t give Merlin up, a crown was nothing if he wore it alone.

And if Merlin died? Well Arthur didn’t know what he would do. ‘Will he live?’ he asked the medic.

‘Honestly?’ Arthur nodded. ‘It’s 50/50. He has lost a lot of blood and been unconscious a long time, if we can bring him round in the next five minutes he has a good chance.’ They had stabilised Merlin’s leg and were attempting to bring him round with an oxygen mask.

‘Come on, come on.’ Arthur muttered. It was silent around him, the bodyguards watched Merlin without speaking, staring down at the damaged man. The only sound was the steady in and out of Merlin and the oxygen mask. Arthur knelt down and held onto Merlin’s hand again, it was slightly warmer. Then slowly Merlin’s eyes cracked open. ‘Hi, my love.’

‘I’m starting to get a little worried about your soppiness levels.’ Merlin breathed and he smiled a little and then grimaced in pain.

‘Think that might take a little more than walking off.’ Arthur gestured towards Merlin’s leg.

‘Well I did do some mighty self sacrifice.’

‘It’s only self sacrifice if you die, right now you’re just a very stupid man, a very brave man, but a stupid one.’

‘I think the term hero fits a little better.’ Arthur rolled his eyes and then nodded his head.

‘Yeah I suppose but don’t tell anyone I said that.’ Merlin wished he could reach up and kiss Arthur but he really wasn’t in a fit state to do so. ‘I’m going to lift you up now and take you to the ambulance, it will probably hurt.’ The stretcher would do more damage than good apparently, although Merlin’s leg was strapped in a brace. Other people could have lifted Merlin, but Arthur really didn’t want them to. As he lifted him Merlin groaned in pain. And Arthur still didn’t know what was going to happen or what he was going to do, but they were both alive and, for now, that was enough.


	12. Epilogue

Arthur hadn't told Merlin where they were going except that it was outside. This actually made little difference as it was a reasonably warm summers day and the outfit Merlin was already wearing, a T-shirt and jeans, was fine. It had been just under a year since the explosion. It had taken him most of that time to learn to walk again, the doctors had managed to save his leg but lots of the nerves had been damaged and he didn't have the feeling in it that he used to. He could walk almost as well as before now, though he couldn't run very well. Arthur had taken well to kingship, going out and actually talking to people, supporting charities and becoming a leading advocate in LGBTQ* rights as well as other human rights campaigns. Morgana won the election and was leading the country into a new era, her policies, most of which were strongly supported by the people, improved the lives of many people and she became a leading figure in feminism as well as politics.

To both Merlin and Arthur's surprise their relationship had gone down better than expected, some people were outraged, some countries sent threatening messages but most people were extremely supportive or just didn't care. For that they were both relived. Gwen too found love again in the form of Leon and Morgana found love in the form of herself. Which was what was really missing in the first place.

Arthur walked hand in hand with Merlin towards the car.

'Can you tell me where we are going yet? Pretty please?' Merlin asked.

'Nope.'

'Pleaaassseeeee'

'I'm not used to this much begging outside of the bedroom'

'Don't be lewd Arthur.' Merlin said sarcastically. They both laughed. Arthur held his hands over Merlin's eyes the whole way despite his protests so when they finally reached their destination he had no idea where they were.

'I'm going to lead you out of the car but you have to keep your eyes shut.'

'Hmph fine.' Arthur helped Merlin get out of the car and then guided him to the right spot.

'Okay open your eyes.' Merlin did, then he gasped. In front of him Arthur was down on one knee; a small black box containing a ring in his hand. 'Merlin, would you do me the honour of becoming my husband?' The ring was gold and had a dragon etched on it. Merlin looked at Arthur and smiled.

'Hmm well I'm not sure,' Arthur stared at him. 'Oh okay then.' Arthur stood up and put the ring on Merlin's finger. Then he embraced him.

'I love you.' He whispered into his neck.

'I love you too.' Then Merlin kissed him gently on the lips, and then again, and again. Arthur grabbed Merlin's head and pulled him into a deeper kiss, it was slow and tender and loving. Their hands clutching at each not because they were worried the other would leave but because they wanted to tell the other they would stay. The kiss lasted for a minute or so, till Merlin broke off and turned round. 'You fixed it?'

'You like it?' In front of them was a statue of Kilgharrah carved in white stone.  
'It's beautiful.' Merlin squeezed Arthur's hand. They stared into the distance for a while and watched the world go by.

'Did you bring any champagne then?' Merlin asked, breaking the silence.

'Ermm no....'

'Terrible! King of England and you can't even remember champagne.'

'Uk actually.' Merlin hit Arthur playfully on the arm, Arthur tried to hit Merlin back but he turned and ran. They ran round the circle of benches, Arthur trying to catch Merlin up. Merlin stopped and hid behind the statue, Arthur ran past and Merlin jumped out at him.

'Missed me!' Merlin jeered and then Arthur turned and ran towards him bent low ready for a tackle. He had Merlin on the ground before he could get away. Arthur was sat on Merlin's waist pining his arms to the floor.

'Now what are you going to do?' Arthur asked, smirking. Merlin sighed dramatically.

'Okay you win.'

'Quite right.' Then Arthur bent down and kissed Merlin again, it was more passionate this time. Merlin's tongue flicked at Arthur's then ran over his teeth, both sets of hands roamed the others body, exploring like it was the first time. They carried on like this for a while and then laid still in the sun, their legs still intertwined.

'I'm definitely getting soppy' Arthur said some time later.

'Why is that?'

'Because I was about to tell you that I love you and I would do anything for you.'

'And you just did, you see it would be soppy, and let's be honest a little repetitive, if i didn't feel exactly the same way about you'

'Okay then, I love you and I would do anything for you. You mean the world to me and you make everyday worth living.'

'Okay that was soppy.'

'Oh but you loved it.'

'Hmmm I suppose I did.' Merlin turned back to Arthur and they draped their arms around each other, it was early evening and it had been a long day. The sun was still high in the sky and it was comfortably warm. Merlin's eyes fluttered shut and Arthur's did the same not long after. It's a good life Arthur thought, it is a really good life.

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. All comments as appreciated greatly. Thanks again,  
> Sonicinthestone


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